2011 year of hope

New year already arrived, before I could have planned for its welcome.  Life become so risky in these days, specially last year, I lost myself in this run.  Getting thoughts of 40-50year old people, may be because of my bad health and economic situation or because of the amount of failures I am faced.
From August I literally left reading for civilservice, because of my failure in the Prelimnary examination of UPSC for which I struggled so far.  But read mainly for Mains, but for prelims I thought the last two months of APRIL AND MAY are sufficient.  But the CENSUS 2011 and its allotment to me, and my efforts to move away from it was ruined by the cunning, bastart Village Accountant made me feel sick.
The time consumed for this SO CALLED CENSUS was also very huge.  National Population Register NPR also included in the census was revealed very late, so that most of the teachers are already signed the copy.
Morning 7 to evening 6 in the village, which never gave support for the good things I did, and never opposed the evil things in the school and in village.  My whole plan to read, revise the Prelimnary content was overturned and the exam approached very fast.
Although my year long studies made me feel confident  despite of the failure to read thoroughly, the new trend and technique to google the Coaching aspirants worked well on me.  Specially Indian Economy related questions and very very minute details of mighty history subject questions made me fumble.
But with average performance I hoped succes in prelims.  But failure was already written in the fate.  So I lost confidence because of the time I already took away from my family, child to read for this mighty task, at this age, with so many risks.
Anyhow, feeling that the old bad things went away with the old year and this new year may fill my mind with awesome motivation and let me to contemplate on the studies.
This is the one and only wish I expect from this year.  Economic stability is most needed at this time to me and the zeal to help the needed is my only motto to be an civil servant.